February 20, 2010

Being in Limbo

I'm sure all of us have felt like we were in 'limbo' at one time or another; waiting to hear about that perfect job, wondering if you are going to have your offer accepted on a house you really want or even something as simple (or not as simple) as dealing with the everyday decisions of life.  Right now Grandpa and I feel like we are in limbo and it's hard not to let it wear on you and get you down.  I've been trying to find a job without success.  I've never been between jobs this long before (almost a year) and I'm feeling a little unsettled trying to deal with it.  Grandpa is not working; could be the weather or the economy or whatever the reason is this week but he needs to get back to work.  Not only for financial reasons, but for his sanity and feeling of accomplishment.  Then there's the house......which is for sale at the worst time to be trying to sell a house and if it sells, everything will bust wide open.  I won't need a job because I will be busy packing the house for the move to Tennessee and Grandpa will be filing his paperwork to retire.  Our lives have turned into a mess of "if's".  Day after day of if this happens, then this will happen.  I'll find the perfect job, the house will sell and then I will have to quit because we would move. If the house sells, then Grandpa will retire and bring in more money from his pension than from unemployment....but if he holds onto his job, our health insurance is paid....then again, because he hasn't been working, nothing is going towards his insurance fund and we will probably have to pay for it anyway.  I would like to go to bed just one night and know what is going to happen the next day.  To know where we will be next month, what we will be doing.  But, I guess it is out of our hands for the time being so I will have to accept that and be thankful for what we have.  We are very lucky to be where we are at this point of our lives and I will concentrate on that.  God will just have to handle the rest.

God, do you think there just might be the chance that you could move a little faster....but, I will accept whatever you decide for us.

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