State of the Union Address last night.....Will it change any of this???

THE ECONOMY IS SO BAD THAT....... 

•  I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
•  I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter  asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
• CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
• If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call  them and ask if they meant you or them.
•  Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
•  McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
•  Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
•  A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
•  Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
•  Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
•  The Mafia is laying off judges.
•  Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
• Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
•  I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my > savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide  Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was  suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.